Relativity

What exists in a man's heart is relative to the love he is given. Not every man is born with the equal opportunity for peace, joy and happiness. A man's heart is developed first at home. It starts with his mother, and then what he sees in his father. A man with an elevated way of thinking is not affected by the way of the world when it comes to matters of the heart.

I was fortunate to have an affectionate mother. She didn't verbally tell me that she loved me, but always knew when exactly I needed to hear it. More importantly, I always felt her love and because of that I never had to question her love. My mother always desired the best for me. She encouraged my strengths and instead of discouraging me for my weaknesses, she tried to build up my not yet discovered talents. Mothers are truly the leaders of the universe. They see in us what we do not see ourselves. This is what makes a good woman a good woman. Unfortunately, for a man there is a thin line between being than ultra-supportive woman and Him feeling like you're trying to be his mother. My Brothas, PLEASE learn that balance! A good woman is truly there for you, not against you.

What I learned from my father was silence! Let your work speak for you. I could see that other men wanted to be like him, and although it was a much different time then when women were more modest you could tell that he had a certain effect on them as well. My father would work 12-16 hours and then still do things like clean the bathroom, mow the grass, shovel the snow or run errands for my mother. I don't know that he ever had to, though I'm sure my mother did not have to question if he would protect her physically. What I wish I would've learned from my father is the importance of quality time. My mother is a strong woman and understood that my father had to be away so that he could provide (if she did have an issue with him over this or anything else, I didn't know it cause those matters stayed behind closed doors). This was something I had to learn on my own through experience. This is where we circle back to not every man having equal opportunity. However, we should not use our misfortunes as an excuse for neglect. When we discover our shortcomings, we should use it as fuel to accelerate toward becoming a better man.

All this has been said to show the relativity between a man's upbringing and his present. Patience is very much a virtue. It should not have to be said, yet it needs to be understood that a man of any age does not equate to his level of expression of love and affection. It is solely based on learning through experience. Be that experience that he grows in and not the one that is destructive to his heart.

Love, James